Better
Poise Development Article...
On Self Actualization, Confidence Building, High Self Esteem and Self Improvement
Take
This First Step to Overcoming Shyness and Gaining Poise!
Dr. Oladele Akin-Ogundeji
President, Psychology Associates &
OD Synergy (www.odsynergy.com)
Understanding what
poise is, is an important first step to overcoming shyness or gaining
poise.
There are many misconceptions
about what poise is. Such misconceptions have hampered many shy people.
If you accept the subtle influences around you regarding what poise is
you may not go far overcoming shyness.
For example, through
the films they watch or the stars they are awed about, many people have
allowed themselves to be subtly, but surely, socially induced into accepting
a wrong notion of poise. Don’t let this happen to you!
If you are interested
in overcoming shyness, gaining poise, or becoming more socially influential,
you need to consider the real meaning of poise. This is your first step
to overcoming shyness and gaining poise.
A Little
Exercise!
Did you really know
what poise is? Don't be too sure you did!
Here is a little exercise
for starter. Before you read further, take a pen and a note. Jot down
three characteristics you believe a well-poised person should possess.
Don’t ask anybody around you. Just take, say, five minutes to think
and reflect on your personal experience or assumptions regarding what
you think a well-poised person is. Do that now…
How many of your three
items have to do with the person’s appearance? Now, perhaps, you
may want to be a bit more adventurous or venturesome. Ask your relatives,
friends, or associates to each write down what they think are three of
the characteristics of a well-poised person. How do they rate? Chances
are that most of the characteristics they volunteered are about a person’s
appearance.
The Nature
of Poise
It is important to
understand what poise is all about, in real sense. Experience has shown
that misconceptions regarding confidence, poise and social influence affect
shy people. One area involves how they perceive issues of people's appearance
and competencies. Apparently, what people say about such issues or what
they see in film or pop stars have affected many of them.
You see, for so long
many misconceptions have been bandied around in everyday usage that many
people apparently don't know what poise is.
Many people have unknowingly
associated poise with people's appearance. Socialization or conditioning
has made many to believe wrongly that poise is a matter of the body. This
has become such a problem to the extent that many people confuse poise
with elegance.
Elegance is a matter
of appearance. Poise is beyond appearance. It is important to understand
this difference clearly at this point. If you find this to be a hard buy,
you are not alone. Understanding this difference and accepting what poise
is- in real terms- underpin the basic knowledge you should have in order
for you to start overcoming shyness, gaining poise or enhancing your poise
level.
Get the Halo
Off the Hello
It will be good and
much beautiful if an elegant person possesses poise. However, this is
not necessarily so. The tendency to see an elegant person to be a poised
person is part of the wrong tendency in people perception, called halo
effect.
The halo effect, in
a layman's parlance, is the tendency to attribute particularly good
or positive attributes to an individual based on a single characteristic
that they possess which we see as rather alluring or note worthy. However,
it can be the obverse. That is, the tendency to associate wrong or negative
attributes to a person based on a single characteristic that they possess
which we see as not rather alluring or noteworthy.
This is a reason
why people tend to perceive the apparently nice-looking bloke or the
blonde-haired woman who cheerily greets them along the street or by
the swimming pool as a good person or woman. That’s a bonus for
the bloke or the blonde-haired woman as they have benefited from the
‘halo effect’.
In real sense, however,
poise is more than a matter of the body... the appearance. It is more
than the cheery smiles plus hello in the case of the swimming pool bloke
or blonde-haired woman.
Poise, is a matter
of the heart-and of the mind! Poise has to do with social ease, emotional
balance and mental acuity. In a much broader sense, poise has to do with
self-mastery and the capacity to be on top of things, particularly under
stress and adversities.
If you want to take
the pulse of your poise development level or have a quick check on your
poise level, consider using a free
poise development
sampler
. Then you'll understand where you need to concentrate upon in your poise
development effort, perhaps using
better
poise development solutions.
Work With This
Understanding!
Poise is more about
the heart-and the mind-than about the body. It is more of your internal
mental and emotional acuity than your appearance. You'll be on your way
in overcoming shyness, gaining poise or mastering your perceived personal
imperfections, through an appropriate program of poise development if
you really understand and accept this difference.
Dr. O. Akin-Ogundeji
, is based in Lagos, Nigeria. He holds PhD of the University of London
and leads Better Poise , promoting people's capacity
to be on top of their world and attain self actualization. He
also leads
OD Synergy
, a team of strategic human resources and organization development consultants
in Africa.
You can check your
poise development level with a free poise development sampler. Visit better
poise builder to learn how you can overcome shyness or gain poise
in 3 months.
Your Comments, Please!
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appreciate your comments on this self actualization article. Email your comments or use the Better
Poise Development Feedback form. Please,
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