Better Poise Development Article...
On Self Actualization, Confidence Building, High Self Esteem, Low Self Esteem, and Self Improvement

Healthy Self-Esteem Development for Self Actualization Through Perfect Understanding!

Dr. Oladele Akin-Ogundeji
President, Psychology Associates & OD Synergy (www.odsynergy.com)

You cannot advance in self improvement without defining and understanding what you are trying to achieve and how you will recognize it when you have achieved it. This article highlights a fundamental issue affecting your success in self-esteem development, personal growth and self actualization.

Have you ever seen anybody blind-sightedly pursuing an important self improvement goal? You probably have not seen such a person. But that is what people do when they engage in self improvement without having a perfect understanding of their project. You can avoid this happening to you.

It is important that you have a perfect understanding of your key terms at the onset of any self improvement, personal growth, self-esteem/confidence building or self actualization project. This article looks at the primary area of what healthy self-esteem really is.

Healthy self-esteem development is at the core of lasting self improvement for self actualization. Yet, what healthy self esteem is, in real terms, is an area where many people have embraced some misinformation. As a result of the misinformation a lot of people are often left confused or hampered when they embark on a self-esteem development or self actualization project.

In order to ensure that you make progress in your self-esteem development, self improvement or self actualization project, do this: Take some time to clarify what 'healthy self-esteem' is in real terms. For example, what comes to your mind when you say a friend or an associate has a positive or high self esteem? What about when you see somebody you regard a success?

So, if you just take a few minutes to make a list you may find a few things interesting. Do it now!...

If you have made your list of what comes to your mind as qualities, say five, of a person with positive or healthy self-esteem, do a simple tally. How many of the items you jotted down have to do with physical bearing such as carriage, assertive behavior, or outspokenness? Perhaps, about three out of five? Or perhaps all!

Okay, now ask two or three people around you to each volunteer a list.

Do the tally for all of you this time. What are you getting? About 55 per cent of the qualities listed relate to physical bearing? To be honest with you, all of you are in tune with the majority of people. You are saying what most people would say. That is, most people believe self-esteem is a matter of your bearing or carriage! However, this is not what positive or healthy self-esteem is, in real terms!

In real terms, healthy self-esteem is inner assurance and perfect understanding of your being, grounded in deep self-respect and inner capacity. If you like, it is largely about your inner capacity to be on top of things - your psychological fibre.

It is true that carriage and outward bearing may reflect your self-esteem. However, it is not the primary measure. Thinking otherwise often presents a wrong picture to individuals grappling with low self-esteem and people afflicted with over confidence or personal poise limitation. There are in fact cases of subtle or reverse assertiveness demonstrated by people with healthy self-esteem, depending on the personal assertiveness strategies they are using.

Healthy self esteem is linked with personal poise. Thus, when you demonstrate mental toughness, emotional balance and inner calm, even under tough conditions, you are a well-poised person. So, it is important to clarify your terms when you embark on any project of self improvement, personal growth, or confidence/esteem building for self actualization.

It helps you have a proper focus. It helps you avoid unnecessary frustrations or headaches? It helps you stay on course for healthy self improvement.

Regardless of what the mass media or TV commercials may subtly be influencing you or the majority of people to buy, just do not buy into the stuff equating healthy self-esteem with physical bearing, outward appearance or show. Think about what you have read this far and what healthy self-esteem really means. You will prosper in your self actualization drive with perfect understanding of what healthy self-esteem development is all about!

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Dr. O. Akin-Ogundeji, a consumate psychologist and organizational development consultant, holds PhD of the University of London and leads BetterPoise.com, promoting people's capacity to be on top of their world and attain self actualization. He also leads OD Synergy, a strategic human resources and organizational development consulting firm in Africa.

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