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On Self Actualization, Confidence Building, High Self Esteem, Low Self Esteem, and Self Improvement

Self Actualization Tip: Power Your Poise for Success!

Dr. Oladele Akin-Ogundeji
President, Psychology Associates & OD Synergy (www.odsynergy.com)

If you want to move in the direction of self actualization and sustainable happiness start resolving your esteem and emotional challenges. Begin by taking fundamental steps that add power to your poise.


Self actualization essentially means being on top of your world emotionally, mentally and socially. It is hindered by low self esteem, self-defeating shyness and emotional conflict. Confidence building, better poise development and self mastery create the condition for self actualization. Adding power to your poise is fundamental and this should be a primary focus in your self improvement effort.

Have the Right Focus

In order to move in the direction of better poise for self actualization have the right focus, and focus on the right things. Realize that poise is more than skin deep. Poise is far less a matter of appearance, no matter what you see in film and pop stars. Poise has to do with self-mastery and the capacity to be on top of things, particularly under stress and adversities.

Your experiences, your relationships and your activities should have reinforcing effects on your emotional and mental capacity. Everything about you in terms of your life projects should have reinforcing effects to make you more emotionally and mentally competent or mature. Your focus should be on developing the quality of your emotional and mental state or capacity. Then your self development effort should handle the specifics of your poise problem or challenge.

If you have successfully understood this important concept of poise, congratulations! You’ll be on your way to adding power to your poise.

Address These Three Questions

At this point you should ask yourself the following three simple questions.

First, ask yourself, ‘Given my current situation, what can I do about my person to be more effective in company and in meeting the challenges of life?’

Second, ask, ‘What are those things I cannot do anything about or which are inevitable?’

The third question is a follow-through question, and it is this: ‘Specifically, what three things should I start doing now to deal with my poise problem?’

In this exercise, you’ll need to analyze your poise level or un-poised challenge. Self-honesty is important in this self-discovery and self-focusing effort. If you’d like to set an agenda on your poise empowerment or assess your poise level, consider taking a free poise sampler. This is a basic key to moving in the direction of better poise.

Discounting Poor Life Chances

The choices you make in life tend to show up later in terms of positive or negative consequences. That is, you cannot run away from your life choices, in most cases that is. Although some people do manage to flee the negative consequences of their life choices some of the time, generally you tend to get the bargain of your choices.

You can treat your poor life chances differently than you treat your poor life choices if you choose to. And you should, if you want to empower your poise for self actualization.

Your life chances, in this case poor life chances, in terms of the limited socio-economic opportunities you were born into or foisted upon you- should not hinder your personal growth in terms of the quality of your emotional and mental state. They should not be the problems compounding your low self esteem, self defeating diffidence or deprecating shyness. They should not be jeopardizing the power of poise you can muster for your personal success, social influence and self realization.

Many people are pestered into obscurity by the overwhelming burden of their poor life chances. They have allowed themselves to be pushed into self-mitigating shyness by their perceived poor life chances.

The capacity to discount your poor life chances is a powerful tool in getting your poise to start tickling. The ability to control the level of your worries often starts with how you see or handle your poor life chances. Handle your limited or poor life chances well and your perception of yourself and of your poise challenge will follow a positive course; and to boot, you will positively influence your life choices.

Resist the Obvious Choice of Compromising With Low Self Esteem

It is interesting to realize that often times diffidence, low self esteem, shyness or lack of poise is promoted by not knowing the fundamental choice to make as a person. Perhaps, the primary or the number one choice. Resolve to free your self from self-defeating low self esteem or deprecating shyness. This choice has to do with understanding and accepting the obvious fact that shyness is a self-chosen past time. It may sound strange, but that is the fundamental truth.

The personal poise builder, and its fore runners, used among many people in Africa has shown in the course of over 15 years that shyness or lack of poise is a self-chosen course. People choose to be shy, particularly when they are old enough to take solid steps in the direction of self-improvement. Therefore, to empower your poise for self actualization or overcome shyness fast, resist the obvious choice you’ve made to cooperate with shyness! Resist compromising with low self esteem.

Resolve now to reject your subtle, voluntary choice to be shy; to cling to your comfort zones or to be contented with your level of ineffectiveness based on lack of poise power. This important and obvious primary resolve has carried the day in each case where the personal poise builder has found a niche helping people to add power to their poise and move in the direction of self actualization. This understanding, and the willingness to act on it, should spur you on doing what you should be doing to change or improve your poise circumstances. It should get you poised for sustainable self confidence building. It should help you step in the direction of better poise development for self realization.

Poise Development Check

If you want to take the pulse of your poise development level or have a quick check on your poise level, consider using a free poise development sampler. Then you'll understand where you need to concentrate upon in your poise development effort, perhaps using better poise development solutions.

Dr. O. Akin-Ogundeji , is based in Lagos, Nigeria. He holds PhD of the University of London and leads Better Poise Development Team , promoting people's capacity to be on top of their world and attain self actualization. He also leads OD Synergy, a strategic human resources and organizational development consulting firm in Africa.

You can check your poise development level with a free poise development sampler. Visit better poise builder to learn how you can overcome shyness, build self confidence or gain poise in 3 months.


Your Comments, Please!

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